A Walk in the What-is Park

Yes, I use shorthand.

I speak about things that make a whole lot of sense to me because I’ve been working with them a long time.

I use certain analogies that make sense to me because I tried 20 others that didn’t.

I don’t like to use the long form so I use the short form.

Yes, I know that you don’t have access to my data banks.

So my shorthand may not make sense to you.

As I do not have access to your data banks AND I realize that I don’t have access to yours, I try to remember to speak more generally.

I don’t always succeed.

If it doesn’t fucking make sense, ask a fucking question.

Anyhow, that little rant came up because someone asked me to deshorten one of my shortenings today.

It was valuable to see it all laid out.

I think it might help.

Maybe not.

And I’ve got two hours.

Here goes.

White Belt is typically seen as the “What-is” part of the Dojo experience.

You spend time playing with the PC and un-PC parts of your Primal Character.

We experiment with making common things uncommon and uncommon things common.

Hopefully to demonstrate the ability to have a different experience using what you have with your Primal Character.

Hopefully to give you a bit more range with both.

There was someone in Dojo who stated objective was to have sex with an 8.

After a bit of talking, he nixed the idea of renting a prostitute.

“I want to be the guy that an 8 not only wants to have sex with but does.”

Who am I to judge?

Certainly a clear coaching path, “What do I have to learn to do/be such that an 8 wants to have sex with me and does?”

A small thing we focused on was his habit of drinking out of cans.

His Primal Character had a whole slew of reasons why to drink out of cans.

A conjecture was that an 8 might respond more favorably to someone with a more “classy” manner of drinking fluids.

Within his Primal Character was the meaning-making, “Drinking out of better containers is more classy.”

So, he got to practice being more classy in his day-to-day life.

What was really interesting is what came up so that he reverted to his old preferences.

Same type of things that derail most exercises.

And he persisted.

What’s interesting now is watching him as he drinks from a nice glass.

He changes.

He is seeding his way-of-being with those things that he thinks will remind him to act in those ways that will (theoretically) give him the experience that he is wanting.

He is recognizing the importance of accoutrements, of props.

As signifiers to him and to others.

How to remind yourself to remain in this new way of being/doing?

It’s actually a lot easier to point to Primal Character values within a “special relationship” dance.

Primal Characters seem to believe that they have very clear definitions of what works and what doesn’t work within special relationships.

Which means that they are easier to point out.

Which means that the contrast is easier to point out.

Which means that it’s easier to craft exercises.

Which means that juice is easier to access.

Which means that it’s easier to maintain momentum.

Which is why I cross myself when I contemplate the ride that the Sex Class might be.

It’s a great life.