It will blow up my life if I dance with it

Couple of interesting things happened.

I’ll write about the simpler one and, if I have chi left, try the other one.

It’s about a meaning-making someone had about doing the Sex Class.

In essence, “I don’t want to deal with that stuff. It’s too explosive. I don’t want to wreck my relationships. They either won’t be able to handle it or outright reject me. This has happened a lot in my life, people can’t handle my fire.”

Absolutely get that that is their meaning-makings and their experience.

What Dojo points to, is a couple of things.

One, how you as a character, set up your reality, your meaning-makings is not the only way to dance with stuff. Sure, it’s the dance that you best know. And your Primal Character has probably set you up to believe that it is YOU. That’s what they do, those Primal Characters.

Just because, in your history, you have had people react a certain way to your fire doesn’t meant that that is the only way that people, even these same people, can react to your fire.

With most of the stuff that we’ve locked away or avoided/denied, yes, there is going to be a certain level of messiness involved in bringing that stuff out into the open. After all, when it was packed up and put away, it was probably with a young child’s vocabulary, skill sets, and meaning-makings. When I packed away my rage, it was a fucking evil fucking monster that wanted to really, really, really hurt people. And would really, really, really enjoy it.

As an adult, I want to be able to dance with others with my rage and not have it be about it being an evil fucking monster wanting to torch everything and everyone.

I had to get that monster out and have it be ok to be such a thing. That such a thing did not mean banishment. And it was pretty messy. Beat the shit out of a punching bag and blistered the shit out of both hands.

Once it was demonstrated to the monster that no matter what he did, he was not going to be banished, it changed. There wasn’t a need to be a monster when rage showed up. I had to learn what I considered to be adult vocabulary and skill sets around dancing with others with rage present. That also did not go as smoothly and as injury-free as I could have wished for. A lot of the stuff that can come up in the Sex Class is going to be stuff that was locked away a very long time ago.

If that’s the case, expect not to have a lot of vocabulary, skill-sets with it.

Expect it to come up as rather raw and “primary colored”.

Be willing to dance with it.

Be willing to look “value-negative” as you learn the ropes.

Be willing to learn.

The hypothesis is that there are “energies and associated meaning-makings” that were locked away a long time ago that, if you can KOOD, you might be able to start building Adult meaning-makings, Adult vocabularies, and Adult skill-sets to engage with. Yes, it is learning to de-self-identify with that part that had those experiences with those energies and those meaning-makings.

How can you bring your Adult awareness to fire and create Adult relational dances with it?

What might be possible if you weren't stuck in those meaning-makings from oh, so long ago?