Ignoring Triggers

God damn it.

Another example of someone who has been fighting against their patterns.

Trying to negate them.

Trying to become stronger than them.

Trying to decrease their influence on them and their life.

IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!!!!!!

As long as you're holding conscious attention on it, as long as you're more aware than not, you might be able to hold it in a deadlock. Hell, you might even be able to do something different.

AND

Patterns are patient things.

They've been doing this a helluva lot longer than your new found desire for change.

They are going to wait till you're not paying attention or until the right kind of stress comes up.

They will then take the reins up and away you'll go.

If you want long-lasting, significant change, where it seems that your old patterns get smaller and smaller, more and more distant, more and more quiet, then you are going to have to put something in their place.

You are going to have to create a new meaning-makings and dances with the signifiers.

If you really want to speak French like a native, you have to stop translating.

You have to learn to think French.

If you want to be a non-racist, you just can't stop the racist stuff.

You have to create new meaning-making, new vocabulary, new dance moves to dance with the EXACT SAME SIGNIFIERS.

And you most certainly have to go out and dance with whomever it was that you were racist about.

You absolutely have to engage with the signifiers.

You CANNOT create significant change dancing by yourself in the corner.

Your patterns will give you all kinds of stories why you can't/shouldn't do this.

Yes, it is hard for the first 3-4 rounds.

You can get it done in a couple of weeks.

Take a deep dive into it.

Resurface.

Do a post-exercise eval.

Reformat, if you have to.

Rest for a couple of days.

Then back in ya go.

USE YOUR SPOTTERS/WINGPEOPLE