Trigger as a good thing

One of the great things that happens, sometimes, in Hang.

Trigger warning: you may hear Kraye talking in a style that you may not usually associate with his grumpy ol’ ass. 

One of the great things about a Dojo-orientation to self-work is that you’re not actually working on your self. You’re working at how a character interprets reality, has stuff come up about said interpretation, and then how it chooses to take or not take action.

It sure feels like it’s happening to you.

No doubt about that. 

From a Dojo POV, it is happening to a character and it’s being fed to you.

If the enculturation or socialization process has done it’s job, then you will self-identify with what we call your Primal Character. 

Easy enough concept to intellectualize, I think.

In Hang yesterday, someone was presented with what they interpreted as one of their major childhood wounds. In essence, “You want me to change so that you have a better experience. I’m not good enough the way that I am. It’s more important that you have what you want than I have who I am.”

Something like that.

From over here, there was def a, “You are showing up this way. I want more. I want you to show up in this way.”

Here’s the magical part. 

The Dojo-invitation is to not hear it from the wounded child part, hear it from your Adult.

If you’re listening from your Adult, to another Adult, seems pretty reasonable that the other Adult is looking to maximize their experience, however they define that, with you and that, in service to that desires, want you to show up differently than you presently are.

“I want to draw finer lines therefore I’m going to sharpen my pencil.”

“I want to lose weight so I’m going to eat less and exercise more.”

“I want to taste more of you so I want you to go deeper.”

“I want to practice Country Western so could you stop playing classical and play some of that?”

Ya get the picture. 

So now this person, whenever they feel that familiar flare, “Oh, they are asking me to be a certain way because this way isn’t good enough for them”, they can feed the, “Oh, they are being clearer about what a more valuable dance with me looks like” wolf.

Imagine turning your deepest triggers into your keys to bigger dances.

Course, it’s really hard, when you’re in one of those flares, to remember that there is another wolf out there who you could be feeding.